Blub Blub, I'm an Idiot!

Today I learned a very valuable lesson- I'm an idiot.

Soooo we had a leaky water spout in the backyard and that isn't a difficult fix. Well, it shouldn't be a difficult fix unless you're a moron like me. I bought a new one- nope, I needed a female connection (silly me, didn't think to check that). No problem, exchanged them.

Now the fun begins... The Boy and I think we can easily change the old one out without turning off the water main. (Oh be quiet, like you've never been silly. Quit laughing)! We begin to remove the old spout and UNLEASH NIAGARA FALLS with a huge WHOOSH of flooding, cascading water we can't stop. I begin running around the house, pulling things away from the garage walls and running around the yard searching for the main water... nothing. The Boy is smarter and makes a call to the water department. (Oh, and just so you know, there is no "if you are a bleedin' moron, push 1" option by the way). They say "Um, we dunno. Outside..." when he finally gets a person on the line and asks if they know where the turn off is. In the mean time, I'm in the backyard with the new spout. I'm thinking, "Okay, so I'll get wet but maybe I can just get this thing on and be alright. What's a bit of getting wet?" along with "OH MY GOSH, the water bill!!!!!"

The blasted thing will not connect. Nope nope nope! I'm soaked and by soaked, I mean wetter than if you threw me in the pool eight times over. I'm wringing, sopping wet. The ocean is drier than I am. There is water spewing into my yard and when I attempt to get the spout on, water is SHOOTING up the house, onto the BBQ grill and anywhere else water wants to go. I'm sure I watered the neighbor's lawns ON BOTH SIDES and the next town over. I decide there is no hope for the new one and decide to try the old one but realize I had thrown it in a fit of panic. Now is a new panic- where did it go? It ran away! After locating the old spout, I attempt at refitting it and VIOLA, it starts to go on!! I'm brilliant!! The thing turns, the water dissipates, more turning and TA DA, no more water!!! Because The Boy managed to find and turn off the water main... He comes around the corner where I'm standing and dripping, completely water logged. He looks at me, huge grin on his face and says "Well that was cool!"